26/11...A blast from the past

What do you say when someone says "26/11 anniversary is coming up". Should you reply "Congrats. Happy anniversary"?? Or should you look indifferent? Actually should it really be called an anniversary? I sort of associate happiness with anniversaries and this is clearly not a happy anniversary. Then why call it that?? Anniversary is the last word to be used here. It should rather be called '26/11 Black day' or something.

26/11 is a day in the history of India that will never be forgotten by Baby Moshe. It is the night that left him orphaned.

26/11 is a day in the history of India that will never be forgotten by Kavita Karkare. In a few hours, she was forced to transform from a married woman to a widow.

26/11 is a day in the history of India that will never be forgotten by K Unnikrishnan. Those 62 hours left him childless and he had to perform the last rites of his own son's funeral.

26/11 is a day in the history of India that will never be forgotten by Divya Salaskar. She now has to add ‘Late’ to her dads heroic name.

26/11 is a day in the history of India that will never be forgotten by Vinita Kamte. She is now the wife of a martyr.

26/11 is a day in the history of India that will never be forgotten by hawaldar Tukaram Omble's family. They lost their sole breadwinner.

26/11 is a day in the history of India that will never be forgotten by Taj and Oberoi employees. They watched their workplace burn in flames and turn into a battlefield.

26/11 is a day in the history of India that will never be forgotten by CST station commuters. Their safe journey back home will always remain a question mark now.

26/11 is a day in the history of India that will never be forgotten by Leopold patrons. That night their wine got mixed with blood.

26/11 is a day in the history of India that will never be forgotten by Mumbai. For it changed from a throbbing city to a silent city, under hostage for 62 long hours.

26/11 is a day in the history of India that will never be forgotten by Me. Because I saw the faces, the pain, the anger, the tears. And a year later too, I din't forget those faces. But a year later, I am not as angry, a year later I am not that sad, a year later I am not so mournful. Instead a year later I have learned to forgive. A year later I have learned to move on. A year later I know how lucky I am coz I survived!

The X Men

Was talking to a few friends about their relationship hassles and they each had a different say about their ex's....So is it just me or can you actually categorize Ex boyfriends?? If i were to make categories, the list would read something like this:

The BFF - Boyfriend Forever. These are ex's that still behave like they are your boyfriend. They will still chauffeur you around, pay for your movies and dinners, still call thrice a month to check on you. They still prefer taking you out for a friends nite out than their own girlfriend coz "you are more fun". They may be over you but they still think you are an important part of their life and treat you just the same way as their current girlfriend.

The Jerk boyfriend - These are men you look back in retrospect and tell yourself 'He was such a jerk!' - hence the name. They are boyfriends who have this irresistible charm, always pleasing you with their words and jokes. They will impress all your friends while you're dating them. And though you see signs of their 'jerkism' within a few months of dating, you pretend to wear tinted glasses and ignore them. Its only the day when they call it quits and you sequence back the last few months that you realize you were played up royally. You can identify them easily too as they are the ones who never bother calling up once THEY call it splits! And the reasons for the split will be a toss up between wanting 'more space' and 'committment phobia'.

The Stopover boyfriend - These are those kinds that you played girlfriends to but for a brief stint. They are mostly your rebound boyfriend. Before you get to know their second name, your relationship has already gone kaput. There isn't any malice or anger when these don't work out coz essentially they were just playing the role of a pacifier. You don't miss them and neither do they!

The Obsessive boyfriend - They are the ones that just don't read the writings on the wall. You have told them in 3 different languages that its over, yet they still flirt with you and believe you still have a thing for them. They just cannot accept that you don't see any romance with them anymore. They are different from BFF's as they keep flirting with you and saying things which are not approved by the moral police. Everytime they are having a 'good time' or are at a 'happening' party, they message you and let you know the same in a bid to make you feel what you've lost out on.

The 2am boyfriend - Welcome the ex boyfriend who is now more in your 'friend in need is a friend indeed' category. He is your ex who you can call without blinking an eyelid at anytime of the day or night. They are guys who you can count on to tag along with you when you want to go shopping to colaba causeway on a hot sunny afternoon. You can talk to them about everything, from how painful waxing is to the latest guy crush you have in office. They will even tell you what clothes you should avoid wearing on dates and what you should avoid saying/doing in case you want to impress a guy. He is like your girlfriend but in a male body and they are NOT gay!

The Committed yet Confused boyfriend - They love you, they really do. But they are so confused in their head about what they want out of the relationship that they invariably break up with you for reasons like 'I'm not good enough for you'. You are too much of a trophy girlfriend for them. You can't really count them in your list of friends or foes.

I am sure i can make many more categories but i want to restrict myself to these many bunch of lunatics! I have realized that NO guy is serious and committed enough unless he proposes to you with a solitaire in one hand and a Vera Wang gown in the other. And if any guy does this, say Yes to him before i hunt him down for myself!

Twenty something and still Being!

Being twenty is an 'awakening' phase for most of us. You think you know where you're going till you reach a crossroad and then wonder did you travel the right road. Its not really a mid life crisis scenario but i'd rather call it the most 'confused yet fulfilling' phase of everyones lives. All your goof ups, stupidities and mistakes can be blamed twenty years from now as 'I was just in my twenties'. We all go through similar episodes in life. The actors may differ, but everyone has shared a similar screenplay at some point in their twenties.

Things you will learn/experience when you’re 20 something:

• Everybody is somebody’s jerk and no matter how much you try, you can’t avoid jerks or being one!
• You will end up with a broken heart and if you are lucky, you would have broken someones heart too.
• Getting over heartbreaks become more difficult than understanding a Chinese person talk in English.
• No matter how much you try, you will end up having some lethal verbal session with your parents. Lets just blame it on the ‘Generation Gap’
• By law, at one point ALL of us will hate our boss and hate our jobs. I call it the 'law of the professional land'.
• Staying in love seems more complicated than understanding E = mc2.
• Relationship is a two letter word and means ‘Its complicated’.
• No matter how much you save, at the end of the month your account balance can never look as big as the Airbus A380.
• You will do at least 2-3 things in your 20's that you will regret later (like throwing up at an office party coz u were drinking like a fish)
• Hangovers become more difficult to get over than Himesh Reshammiya's acting.
• There’s only so much you can puke, clean and repent. (Tip – avoid egg bhurji after a 5 pints of beer)
• Loosing weight becomes tougher than Obama's speeches!
• You realize there are only so many stupid, slapstick and mindless Akshay Kumar movies you can watch in a year.
• You will look back at pictures taken 5 years ago and think you dressed like a dork then and think you are a fashion icon now!
• There will be someone in your friends group whose life you wish you could swap with (I wish I was Frieda Pinto minus her boytoy bf!)
• One of the annoying three letter words to hear will be – 'Where are you?' and mostly asked by your gf/bf.
• 12 is the new 2 AM and you don't have that much patience to talk to your 2 AM friends anymore.
• You will be hanging out more near the office coffee machine than in Poison and Enigma (or any other niteclub).
• When you're below 25, everything you do is either fun or exciting or both. When you're 25 and above, everything you do is either right or wrong or can't say!

If you've been through 10 or more similar experiences, then we should catch up soon for an evening of expresso. If you've had 5-6 such experiences then you're living a very safe life. Meet me for a crash course in living life on the edge. If you've not had a single experience then don't kid yourself, you're definitely not 20 something. Go back to school and stop reading my blog!

Not together…it’s 'Two'gether!

I say roses, you say guns. I say blue, you say grey. I say Simpsons, you say South Park. I say shopping, you say ESPN. I say “Miss you”, you say “Kiss you?”

Almost One lakh and twenty three books down and still no definite answer. Five thousand and sixty three debates and talk shows and it’s still a mystery. Twenty three thousand shrinks have still not managed to solve this problem. Well, Why are men from mars and women from venus?

No, I am not going to be the expert and answer this now almost revered question. I’m merely going to attempt what can be called the ‘Dency version’ of why men and women come from different planets, make that galaxies actually.

I think whoever said ‘Man is a thinking animal’ was just kidding with us. Coz i don't believe that Man (read male) can think or feel (except when hit at their crotch). And what most females do is just that – Think, think and think some more (Paris Hilton exempted).

Even if I give the male species the benefit of a thinking mind, I still doubt they will ever think like females. Scientifically too it has been proven that not only do men and women think differently in a given situation, but the way they use their brains differs significantly too. Women have larger connections and more frequent interaction between their brain's left and right hemispheres. This makes women better at verbal skills and intuition. Thats why we can talk, talk and talk some more (yeah, Iam part of it too). And thats also why everytime you cheat, your girl somehow knows about it. Its the infamous 'female intuition'!

Men, on the other hand, have greater brain hemisphere separation which explains their skills for abstract reasoning and visual intelligence. Hence, they rather follow vague maps than ask for directions. This is also why just a poster of Salma Hayek is enough to turn on a guy while a female needs more coffee conversations to keep her smitten.

Also, its true isn't it when you say men think from their brains while females think from their heart. And yes men and women also DO come from different chromosomes which may also be the primary reason for their differences. But can men and women never think alike? Can men ever use their heart for things more than a bypass surgery? Can they feel emotions without a show of tears? Can women ever think only from their mind? Can they ever be smarter at matters of the heart and accounts? Can man and woman ever come together as one thinking mind and not two minds? Can a guy ever say 'Lets paint the walls pink' and can a girl ever say 'Lets play PS3 on a sunday and put the wet towels on the bed'?

Frankly, I don’t know the answer. If those 'Understand your man or woman better' and Shobha De books havent helped, who am I? But maybe, just maybe in some corner of the world a woman is understanding her man better and vice versa. And maybe there actually IS a guy somewhere right now who doesn't run in fear or hide his face and instead looks up with pride when his girl says the most adorable, romantic and lovely three words - 'Hold my purse'.

Confessions of a facebook-holic!

Let me start with some observations I made on Facebook:
'Random' is the most commonly used album title in FB.
'Just Chillin' is the most commonly used photo caption.
Most people upload pics of a trip within 24 hours of returning from that trip.
Most people consider themselves "travellers" if they a Goa Trip in their albums and if they have a Ladakh album then they are a "killer" traveller.
Everyone who has got any sort of tattoo done on their body would have put that up as their profile pic at some point.
Honeymoon pics are put up Only if it has been to a foreign land.

Ok now to my Farmville addicts
Howdy friends! If you’ve understood this style of greeting then you MUST be a Farmville addict. So you can now do online kheti and become a farmer in no time. I don’t own a farm (though my online Farmville status says otherwise and I don’t remember accepting any Farmville requests) but I still get at least one sheep, 2 goats, one avocada plant and one ugly ducking on my farm everyday. And I am a farmist neighbour to many of my facebook friends. Now farming is difficult, my grandfather was a farmer and I have actually been on the field and seen the sweat and toil of farmers. But then why go through so much pain and get that unnecessary tan working on the field when I can sit in my AC room, in the privacy of my cubicle and whip the shit out of my cattle for not moving fast enough and giving me good crops. And with so many of my friends on Farmville, I now know why farming is the primary occupation of this country and why 60% of Indians are employed in this sector.

To my Mafia wars addicts
Then there are my other sets of friends, the more volatile ones by nature who are addicted to mafia wars. They shoot others, make a criminal empire and try to be the Godfather of the mafia world. And they also have nicknames for each other. Kinda like 'Bloody Bosco' and 'Kamina Karl'. My question is 'Is Mafia wars bringing out the passive aggression of people out in the open?'

To my status update addicts
So you burnt your toast today, got stuck in traffic jam and reached late for an office meeting and then spilled coffee over your new shirt. Is this something that has NEVER happened before to anyone? When it is as common as Sania Mirza losing in the first round of a grand slam, why do you need the world to know about your disastrous day? There are some friends who need to update every living/moving moment of their life. I don’t want to know your wearing mismatched socks today or you forgot to floss today or that you haven’t had a bath since a week coz you were on a wild safari expedition! So don't be a Kareena and tell everybody about what diet you follow or how much you earned for your last ad or where your going for romatic vacation or if Saif thinks your ass is great or what. If you have to say something as a status message then might as well tell me how desperate housewives series is going to end, if Federrer is going to win the next match against Nadal or when the sensex will fall again so that i can save some money!

To my quiz addicts
Yes you look like Mickey Mouse if you have taken the ‘Which Disney character do you look like’ quiz. But why did you want Facebook to tell you this. You should have just come to me...i would have also told you this!! Obviously the quiz won't say you look like Aiswarya Rai. That these quizzes are meant for nothing but entertainment is confirmed, but some of the quizzes that people take are just bizarre. Like a friend of mine took this quiz on ‘what alphabet will you’re soon to be husbands name start with’ and she got X! Now unless she is marrying a Xerox machine or some fool adds X in the beginning of his name to impress the numerology gods, I think she just wasted 5 mins of online time!

To my fortune cookie/mystic meg addicts
‘Your day today will be exactly like the last 9479 days of your life’. That’s what the real fortune cookie should say. But then when has the fortune cookie ever said the truth? And the only bad and good news you can get on the same day is ' You will get fired today but they will compensate by giving you 3 months salary in advance! So travel for the next 3 months and then come back to an unemployed and jobless life'.

So the solution to all my whines is that I should quit facebook or make new online friends. But like all of you reading this, even I am a sucker for all this. So till the day my farm grows bigger than Mexico and my fortune cookie says ‘You will marry Prince William one day and become the Queen of England’, I think I am gonna continue being a facebook addict.

And the cookie crumbles!

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me, now I can't feel anything.

Passing through a railway station never felt this lonely. So many faces yet not one my memory traces. I wonder what is the story behind each of these faces. Someone who has just been fired, someone who is waiting for get home to their children, someone who is angry with their boss, someone who is looking forward to meeting their loved one. Yet, not one face shows off its true story. Just as my face today.

Oh, it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay.

So many places where my happiness is capsuled. Places of love, laughter and joy. These places will always be close to me. But I have to move on. Been driving in reverse gear for too long. Its time to accelerate and speed past those places. These places will remain. But only in my memory as a postcard.

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Can a failed romance ever be an open and shut case? I highly doubt that. Because no matter what, how many days and months pass by, memories will catch up with you. The chance of them remotely fading away completely is, well, remote! Exist they do and they will, but no more in glossed and coloured format but in faded sepai shade.

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before.

Lyrics: James Morrison

Sach ka Samna...for who..the contestants or audiences??

So i was watching this show called 'Sach ka Samna' on Star Plus and was quiet flabbergasted. I mean i wonder why someone in their right frame of mind would go on that show???

To begin with i DON'T think its a big bravery act to come out and sit on that chair and talk about your lies and come clean. I mean if u have so many hidden skeletons in your closet, you should be disclosing this information to the concerned person and not on national TV. If you come on this show to come out clean, you are doing it at the cost of what? A few lakhs won, but a number of feelings hurt too. I mean why do you want to be the butt of jokes and the ridicule your family on a national platform?

In such situations i think one must always go by the rule of weighing the pros and cons. If winning money is your sole objective, then no truth revealed on the show should cause you to break into any sweat. However when i cringe in my seat at some of the questions asked, i wonder how is it for the family/friends? I am sure many confrontations might take place when the episode is over and many of them must be ugly. Some days back i saw an episode where an uncle was asked if he had sex with someone younger than his daugther's age? He answered Yes. I mean c'mon. Why should i know that! And why on earth should his daugther know that??

Also i think Indian audiences have a major issue accepting the kind of truth spilled on the show. I mean a wife accepting that she has thoughts of killing her husband, doesnt that just break the notion of pati vrata patni?? This indian woman is just unacceptable to the indian audience (read men) who have grown up to watch tulsi's and parvati's. Also, the indian male committing adultry wont go down too well with the ladies who consider their husbands as their ideal Ram's and Mihir's(though mihir has had several liaisons, he is still considered ideal husband and i dont knwo why???) That i think is why this show is hard to digest.

However having given my opinion on the show, i dont advocate banning the show at all. Well, simply because i think viewer discreation should be exercised here. C'mon, dont you think our audience is smart enough to judge what should be watched and what not. Afterall T.V comes with a remote. So if you dont like something switch on to the next best reality show on another channel (but please make sure its not Fast and the Gorgeous on MTV or Iss Jungle se mujhe bacchao on Sony). The censors/moral police cannot and should not tell me what i should watch, eat, drink, wear. Leave it to me to know or learn whats good, bad and ugly!

Things i fail to understand...

For all the free time on my hand i had to do some soul searching and meditation and understanding the world around me better...Oh who am i kidding...i was busy playing 'plain lazy'..and thats when i thought i shud atleast try and attempt one of the three mentioned above...and being me i chose the last option first.

So here i am with a list of things i fail to comprehend/understand/figure out...i hope you get the drift

- I dont get it when people say i hate kids...i recommend only 2 hours with my niece and you will feel 10 years lighter...sure they are cute and tiny but beyond that they are also pure entertainment till the time they drop that act and cry...Then you may want to move on to something more entertaining like watching rakhi sawant's swayamwar show.

- And when people say they LOVE potato..like really who are we kidding here...potato is the most pale looking and tasting vegetable. So ya i dont like that fatty substance too much.

- People who dont like pizza shud be excommunicated. They are a breed that should get extinct like the dinosaurs. I mean what is there to not like in a pizza! Chicken good, vegetables good, pizza bread good, cheese gooooooooood.

- Men and their shopping nightmares...ya ya...i know shopping can be quite boring at times..but so can watchin two oversized men fight like kids in a knicker!

- The rains...i cant say i hate them or love them...they always get me all confused. Love them when i am sitting with someone special and sipping hot tea and hate them when i am travelling in a second class compartment of an overcrowded local train.

- Luck...I think it is the most overatted and overused word...it is used when something good happens to you and even bad...so is it a good thing or bad? Are you better off without it or with it?

- Sci-Fi movies...sure they have great visual appeal but if u ask me i think thats all they have. Sometimes the I robot or alien does better acting in these movies than the person who is supposed to save human race from these monsters. And they probably run out of budget for a storywriter, having spend their last penny on special effects and animation which is why none of them have a good script. Its the same ol' plot. Its not like i am a sucker for the mush movies, but sometimes you do need that totally unadulterated nonsence movie.

- Shah Rukh Khan...the question is - Is he homo or hetro or bi or alien???

Thats all! (a la Meryl Streep from Devil wears Prada)

Things about me I dont think you know

1) I hate tablets....for the longest time I would ask a doctor to give me medicines only in the syrup form (wish I could still do it!)
2) I have shoplifted once...and not been caught..no i am not proud of it or ashamed...I blame "teenage hormones"!
3) When i enter a restaurant for snacks, i always order sada dosa (since age 9!)
4) Nothing cheers me up like strolling in a mall (yeah i know it may be very uncool to some but not for me) I think i am a shopoholic...sigh!
5) When Titanic was released, I was madly in love with Leonardo (who wasnt!!). For a whole year I kept buying notebooks that had Leo on its front page and he is the only actor whose poster I ever brought. (yeah..ok, judge me)
6) I have a doll that is almost 20 yrs old which would be my 1st gift to my child (boy or girl)
7) I hate cats...i think they are manipulative and greedy (maybe its the way they look)
8) I LOVE driving...even in traffic jams
9) I had a huge crush on Sean Paul (Baby boy fame) during my college years
10) I analyse and over analyse too much...and i hate 'Me' time coz i will use that time to analyse some more
11) I love bugging my mom...and i can talk to her for hours...she Loves me..i am sure..:)
12) I am writing a novel called GALS since the last 10 yrs...started it in my 10th std but yet to finish it.
13) I have too many close friends...rest assured i will have a big entourage of bridesmaids on my wedding day
14) I used to love kids of all ages..now after a niece i like them when they are older than 6 months becoz all i see my 4 month niece do is sleep...and watching her sleep all day is NO fun!
15) I love gifts and love gifting and i do believe you dont need an occasion to gift (i hope i have hinted enough)
16) FRIENDS is a show I can watch nonstop for days
17) I can't remember lyrics of any song, hence I make up my own lyrics, almost always. For the same reason I am not included in Antaksharis anymore..:(
18) I hate Maths
19) When in doubt, i mentally still play the 'oh god please tell me' game
20) I still have a stamp collection, wrapper collection, coin collection, doll collection and even thread collection!
21) I have travelled in Kerala, Tamil Nadu, Goa, Maharashtra, Gujarat, Rajasthan, Delhi, Uttar Pradesh, Haryana, Sikkim, Calcutta and Himachal Pradesh till date. Evidently..i LOVE travelling
22) I like the smell of nail polish and hate the smell of paint
23) I am totally a winter person and not at all a morning person
24) I knew you were expecting another point only becoz you think it should end at 25...but stick a fork in me coz I'm done!!