Confessions of a facebook-holic!

Let me start with some observations I made on Facebook:
'Random' is the most commonly used album title in FB.
'Just Chillin' is the most commonly used photo caption.
Most people upload pics of a trip within 24 hours of returning from that trip.
Most people consider themselves "travellers" if they a Goa Trip in their albums and if they have a Ladakh album then they are a "killer" traveller.
Everyone who has got any sort of tattoo done on their body would have put that up as their profile pic at some point.
Honeymoon pics are put up Only if it has been to a foreign land.

Ok now to my Farmville addicts
Howdy friends! If you’ve understood this style of greeting then you MUST be a Farmville addict. So you can now do online kheti and become a farmer in no time. I don’t own a farm (though my online Farmville status says otherwise and I don’t remember accepting any Farmville requests) but I still get at least one sheep, 2 goats, one avocada plant and one ugly ducking on my farm everyday. And I am a farmist neighbour to many of my facebook friends. Now farming is difficult, my grandfather was a farmer and I have actually been on the field and seen the sweat and toil of farmers. But then why go through so much pain and get that unnecessary tan working on the field when I can sit in my AC room, in the privacy of my cubicle and whip the shit out of my cattle for not moving fast enough and giving me good crops. And with so many of my friends on Farmville, I now know why farming is the primary occupation of this country and why 60% of Indians are employed in this sector.

To my Mafia wars addicts
Then there are my other sets of friends, the more volatile ones by nature who are addicted to mafia wars. They shoot others, make a criminal empire and try to be the Godfather of the mafia world. And they also have nicknames for each other. Kinda like 'Bloody Bosco' and 'Kamina Karl'. My question is 'Is Mafia wars bringing out the passive aggression of people out in the open?'

To my status update addicts
So you burnt your toast today, got stuck in traffic jam and reached late for an office meeting and then spilled coffee over your new shirt. Is this something that has NEVER happened before to anyone? When it is as common as Sania Mirza losing in the first round of a grand slam, why do you need the world to know about your disastrous day? There are some friends who need to update every living/moving moment of their life. I don’t want to know your wearing mismatched socks today or you forgot to floss today or that you haven’t had a bath since a week coz you were on a wild safari expedition! So don't be a Kareena and tell everybody about what diet you follow or how much you earned for your last ad or where your going for romatic vacation or if Saif thinks your ass is great or what. If you have to say something as a status message then might as well tell me how desperate housewives series is going to end, if Federrer is going to win the next match against Nadal or when the sensex will fall again so that i can save some money!

To my quiz addicts
Yes you look like Mickey Mouse if you have taken the ‘Which Disney character do you look like’ quiz. But why did you want Facebook to tell you this. You should have just come to me...i would have also told you this!! Obviously the quiz won't say you look like Aiswarya Rai. That these quizzes are meant for nothing but entertainment is confirmed, but some of the quizzes that people take are just bizarre. Like a friend of mine took this quiz on ‘what alphabet will you’re soon to be husbands name start with’ and she got X! Now unless she is marrying a Xerox machine or some fool adds X in the beginning of his name to impress the numerology gods, I think she just wasted 5 mins of online time!

To my fortune cookie/mystic meg addicts
‘Your day today will be exactly like the last 9479 days of your life’. That’s what the real fortune cookie should say. But then when has the fortune cookie ever said the truth? And the only bad and good news you can get on the same day is ' You will get fired today but they will compensate by giving you 3 months salary in advance! So travel for the next 3 months and then come back to an unemployed and jobless life'.

So the solution to all my whines is that I should quit facebook or make new online friends. But like all of you reading this, even I am a sucker for all this. So till the day my farm grows bigger than Mexico and my fortune cookie says ‘You will marry Prince William one day and become the Queen of England’, I think I am gonna continue being a facebook addict.