Was talking to a few friends about their relationship hassles and they each had a different say about their ex's....So is it just me or can you actually categorize Ex boyfriends?? If i were to make categories, the list would read something like this:
The BFF - Boyfriend Forever. These are ex's that still behave like they are your boyfriend. They will still chauffeur you around, pay for your movies and dinners, still call thrice a month to check on you. They still prefer taking you out for a friends nite out than their own girlfriend coz "you are more fun". They may be over you but they still think you are an important part of their life and treat you just the same way as their current girlfriend.
The Jerk boyfriend - These are men you look back in retrospect and tell yourself 'He was such a jerk!' - hence the name. They are boyfriends who have this irresistible charm, always pleasing you with their words and jokes. They will impress all your friends while you're dating them. And though you see signs of their 'jerkism' within a few months of dating, you pretend to wear tinted glasses and ignore them. Its only the day when they call it quits and you sequence back the last few months that you realize you were played up royally. You can identify them easily too as they are the ones who never bother calling up once THEY call it splits! And the reasons for the split will be a toss up between wanting 'more space' and 'committment phobia'.
The Stopover boyfriend - These are those kinds that you played girlfriends to but for a brief stint. They are mostly your rebound boyfriend. Before you get to know their second name, your relationship has already gone kaput. There isn't any malice or anger when these don't work out coz essentially they were just playing the role of a pacifier. You don't miss them and neither do they!
The Obsessive boyfriend - They are the ones that just don't read the writings on the wall. You have told them in 3 different languages that its over, yet they still flirt with you and believe you still have a thing for them. They just cannot accept that you don't see any romance with them anymore. They are different from BFF's as they keep flirting with you and saying things which are not approved by the moral police. Everytime they are having a 'good time' or are at a 'happening' party, they message you and let you know the same in a bid to make you feel what you've lost out on.
The 2am boyfriend - Welcome the ex boyfriend who is now more in your 'friend in need is a friend indeed' category. He is your ex who you can call without blinking an eyelid at anytime of the day or night. They are guys who you can count on to tag along with you when you want to go shopping to colaba causeway on a hot sunny afternoon. You can talk to them about everything, from how painful waxing is to the latest guy crush you have in office. They will even tell you what clothes you should avoid wearing on dates and what you should avoid saying/doing in case you want to impress a guy. He is like your girlfriend but in a male body and they are NOT gay!
The Committed yet Confused boyfriend - They love you, they really do. But they are so confused in their head about what they want out of the relationship that they invariably break up with you for reasons like 'I'm not good enough for you'. You are too much of a trophy girlfriend for them. You can't really count them in your list of friends or foes.
I am sure i can make many more categories but i want to restrict myself to these many bunch of lunatics! I have realized that NO guy is serious and committed enough unless he proposes to you with a solitaire in one hand and a Vera Wang gown in the other. And if any guy does this, say Yes to him before i hunt him down for myself!
The BFF - Boyfriend Forever. These are ex's that still behave like they are your boyfriend. They will still chauffeur you around, pay for your movies and dinners, still call thrice a month to check on you. They still prefer taking you out for a friends nite out than their own girlfriend coz "you are more fun". They may be over you but they still think you are an important part of their life and treat you just the same way as their current girlfriend.
The Jerk boyfriend - These are men you look back in retrospect and tell yourself 'He was such a jerk!' - hence the name. They are boyfriends who have this irresistible charm, always pleasing you with their words and jokes. They will impress all your friends while you're dating them. And though you see signs of their 'jerkism' within a few months of dating, you pretend to wear tinted glasses and ignore them. Its only the day when they call it quits and you sequence back the last few months that you realize you were played up royally. You can identify them easily too as they are the ones who never bother calling up once THEY call it splits! And the reasons for the split will be a toss up between wanting 'more space' and 'committment phobia'.
The Stopover boyfriend - These are those kinds that you played girlfriends to but for a brief stint. They are mostly your rebound boyfriend. Before you get to know their second name, your relationship has already gone kaput. There isn't any malice or anger when these don't work out coz essentially they were just playing the role of a pacifier. You don't miss them and neither do they!
The Obsessive boyfriend - They are the ones that just don't read the writings on the wall. You have told them in 3 different languages that its over, yet they still flirt with you and believe you still have a thing for them. They just cannot accept that you don't see any romance with them anymore. They are different from BFF's as they keep flirting with you and saying things which are not approved by the moral police. Everytime they are having a 'good time' or are at a 'happening' party, they message you and let you know the same in a bid to make you feel what you've lost out on.
The 2am boyfriend - Welcome the ex boyfriend who is now more in your 'friend in need is a friend indeed' category. He is your ex who you can call without blinking an eyelid at anytime of the day or night. They are guys who you can count on to tag along with you when you want to go shopping to colaba causeway on a hot sunny afternoon. You can talk to them about everything, from how painful waxing is to the latest guy crush you have in office. They will even tell you what clothes you should avoid wearing on dates and what you should avoid saying/doing in case you want to impress a guy. He is like your girlfriend but in a male body and they are NOT gay!
The Committed yet Confused boyfriend - They love you, they really do. But they are so confused in their head about what they want out of the relationship that they invariably break up with you for reasons like 'I'm not good enough for you'. You are too much of a trophy girlfriend for them. You can't really count them in your list of friends or foes.
I am sure i can make many more categories but i want to restrict myself to these many bunch of lunatics! I have realized that NO guy is serious and committed enough unless he proposes to you with a solitaire in one hand and a Vera Wang gown in the other. And if any guy does this, say Yes to him before i hunt him down for myself!
6 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Woman! You've nailed it! I think the story's the same all around the world. As a woman, I can identify with all these categories of boyfriends and I applaud you at gathering them on this page and reminding us of how messed up relationships can be. Recovering from one right now, I bow down to you on this one ;)
LOVED IT! laughed my ass of reading it, even though I can't personally relate to it, from all the experiences I have heard about, it makes perfect sense! And I loveee the last bit about the solitaire ring and the vera wang gown :P!
As always you make me proud...though I did think it reminded me of my Male Bitches speech... but yes like they say like minds think alike... so cheers to that n which category do i fall in honey...
you know your always going to be my committed yet confused one...committed coz i know you are mine always...and confused coz you dont know who you love more...me or dinkar...;)
Hahahaha! I so agree with Dency! Varun you definitey fall in the last category! But yea, coming back to 'The X Files'..I loved every bit of it...I am so proud of u!
Lol...I wish we could talk about all this in person.I always love the stuff you come up with and your "theories" about life!:) Miss you huns!
Post a Comment